Here's the secret to becoming an effective leader
And it's easier (and harder) than you think...
Hi everyone! This is a free edition of Lead with Intention, delivered in addition to my weekly leadership tips for premium subscribers.
Today I’m sharing some advice that is at the very heart of my coaching practice. It’s something that changed my life nearly 9 years ago and that I hold dear to this day.
People that know me (and regular readers here) may know what I’m going to say. But first, a little about my own leadership journey.
(And if you enjoy today’s newsletter, please feel free to share it and consider subscribing for just £5.00 a month, so you can receive a weekly injection of practical leadership advice that really works.)
Tales of a crappy leader made good
When I started my leadership career, I was in my 20s and working flat out at a public relations agency in London. We worked hard. And by that I mean we worked like crazy. 12 hour days were standard. The night before new business pitches we’d be in the office until at least 10:00pm. I had regular emotional breakdowns over mistakes in my photocopying. Remember photocopying?
It was the type of organisation where “technical expertise” was valued above all else. So you could be made a team leader without any demonstrable experience or insight into how to develop that team. Leadership skills weren’t really considered when appointing leaders. Crazy huh? It was a crap shoot. Some people, it turned out, were innate leaders. Others were not.
Can you guess which camp I fell into?
That’s right. Technically brilliant, but a monster of a micro-manager. With control issues, no zone of tolerance and zero patience. Delightful I know.
Without structured and holistic leadership development, I learnt hard lessons in my first leadership role. Mistakes were made that I continued to make well into my career.
And it really wasn’t until I had that life-changing experience 9 years ago, that I was able to make lasting positive changes to my leadership practice. Which eventually led to me retraining and now coaching in my own practice.
I want you to have this experience too.
The secret to finding your leadership style
One of the many mistakes I made earlier in my leadership career was beating myself up because I wasn’t like some of the other leaders I saw around me.
However, it has taken years of deep reflection and committed work to connect deeply with my own unique strengths and use them deliberately and consistently in my own leadership practice. And to recognise that these strengths come with specific benefits, as well as pitfalls that I need to learn to recognise and navigate in the pursuit of leading authentically.
You need to really know yourself (warts and all) in order to improve yourself.
I wish I’d learnt that sooner.
A leadership coach telling you to “be yourself” might not sound earth shattering. But so many leaders I speak to (or have experienced in the workplace), haven’t done the foundational work of understanding who they really are and what they can bring to the table that no-one else can.
And so to the life-changing event. And today’s advice.
I’ve talked about this before, but my year long leadership development immersion with the NHS Leadership Academy was a real game changer in terms of me understanding this about myself. It uses the incredibly powerful question:
“What’s it like to be on the receiving end of you?”
in order to spark a lot of deep work about you, the individual, as a leader. It is only by understanding who you really are (and your unique strengths and weaknesses) and the influences and events that have shaped your life and hence your leadership style, that you can truly get to grips with who you are now. What you have that no-one else has. And how powerful that can be - for good and the not so good - when you are leading others.
This isn’t easy work. It’s simple but it’s not easy.
So a lot of people just skip it and lead in the way they a) see someone else doing it, even if that person is nothing like them or not even an effective leader and/or b) they put on a metaphorical mask and “act” like how they think a leader should act. Even if this means an exhausting amount of pretence and performance.
How to find your leadership style
If you’re ready to start leading in a more authentic and intentional way, then start with these prompts. Be honest and sit with the answers. Talk to people you trust to see if they agree. Then ask yourself what it’s telling you about how you might want to show up as a leader.
What’s it like to be on the receiving end of me?
Which leaders do I admire and why?
How do I like to treated by my boss and why?
How would I like someone to describe me as a leader? Why?
Do I think this is how people currently describe me as a leader? If not, where are the gaps?
What are my values? What do I prioritise in my own behaviour and that of others?
What are my unique strengths that I can bring to the table? How might that translate into my leadership style? How could I do more of that?
How do I behave when i’m under pressure or unhappy? How might that affect my leadership behaviour? What could I do about that?
And then the big one…
“Am I prepared to lead in a way that feels authentic to me?”
You might think is a no-brainer, but it’s amazing how many obstacles we will put in the way of leading in the way that works for us. It might be preconceptions about how others will react, or certain company cultures (and their leaders) that try and convince you there is only one way - their way - to lead and be successful.
It takes courage to dig deep and to act on what your insight tells you.
But think about how transformative it can be.
Imagine going to work every day and feeling comfortable in your skin.
Knowing that you behave in accordance with your values and your integrity.
And that you are employing your unique strengths to lead as only you can.
Wouldn’t you feel better?
More empowered?
More fulfilled?
(I know you’d be more effective too.)
Taking your first step
I hope today’s newsletter has sparked something within you if you’re ready to develop and hone your leadership approach this year.
Please do let me know how you get on with the questions above, and if the answers surprised you in any way!
And I’ll see you back here next Thursday for another pragmatic set of leadership advice - tips you can really use! These are sent every week to premium subscribers.
If you’re ready to go deeper and commit to an action-focused coaching programme, I offer one-to-one sessions and if you’re an aspiring leader in the communications field, come and join my first group coaching programme “Step Up To Leadership” starting 5th March. (There’s a pre-sale on at the moment, so you will benefit from early bird pricing, but only for the next few days! Please get in touch if you’re ready and want to explore how it will work.)
Louise