How to...give and receive constructive feedback

(Without feeling awkward as f**k...)

Welcome back to Lead with Intention! How is it already nearly Spring? I don’t know about you, but I am READY for some sunshine. The world is a tough hang right now, so I’m making a pledge to savour every positive moment I can, whilst doing my best to lead in a way that feels authentic and positive. How about you?

One of the positive “glimmers” for me this week? My wonderful daughter a) getting into her preferred high school and b) turning 11! I can’t quite believe it (especially as it means I am getting OLDER), but it’s such a joy to see her grow and evolve.

And makes me even more determined to do my bit for a better future for the next generation.

Tell me what’s good in your world right now - I love to hear it!

To today’s leadership topic. I was asked by a reader to cover this one, as they were struggling with giving feedback to a team member in a way that didn’t feel a) super awkward and b) didn’t alienate said team member, or lead to them feeling attacked.

I struggled with giving feedback for years in my corporate career. I’m a direct person (which is good by the way when giving feedback), but I wasn’t always the kindest leader (you need that combination - clear AND kind). I got so caught up in my own impossible standards and impatience, that I couldn’t see or understand anyone else’s perspective. I learnt that empathy is one of the greatest leadership superpowers there is and it’s super important when giving and receiving feedback.

Now, as a coach, it’s a topic that comes up all the time in my one to one and my group sessions. I’ve learnt some valuable techniques and I’m sharing one of those tools below (today is a paid post by the way), but first, let me remind you:

Feedback is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets.

So don’t try and avoid feebdack (giving or receiving). It’s tempting I know, but you need to become comfortable in this dynamic, if you want high performing teams and you want to develop as a leader yourself.

It’s not easy. Done well, feedback helps us grow, strengthens relationships, and builds high-performing teams. Done poorly, it can feel uncomfortable, defensive, or even damaging.

So how do you strike the right balance? How do you give feedback that lands well and receive feedback without shutting down?

This week, I’m sharing a simple, structured approach to feedback that takes the guesswork (and tension) out of these conversations.

Let’s dive in.