Failure can be a great teacher. And by that measure, i’m guessing we’ve all studied at the Sorbonne, am I right? No-one gets to be successful in any field, without first stumbling into the dirt, wiping ourselves down and taking a deep breath before getting back into the race.
I’m proud to say i’ve made mistakes as a leader. It was only by learning from those errors of judgement and approach, that I eventually arrived at a new level of self-awareness and understanding with the help of a great coach, and started to lead better. And eventually lead well.
But here’s the thing about failure. It helps you learn, but equally, too much struggle can really dent your confidence and belief in yourself. So in the spirit of sharing and helping each other, let’s dig deep into some of the most common leadership mistakes and how to fix them.
I love a numbered list, so here we go:
Confusing technical brilliance with true leadership skills
Not understanding your WHY as a leader
Seeking control instead of trust
Managing activity/outputs rather than coaching your people
Avoiding constructive challenge (and not having difficult conversations)
Gatekeeping the talent on your team (not letting them thrive elsewhere)
Not setting boundaries to protect your health and that of your team
I have a LOT to say about this topic, so I’ve split the list above into a two-parter. Today we’ll cover mistakes 1-4. In the next issue we’ll tackle 5-7.
By the way, you may notice some changes here over the coming weeks. I’m so proud to have a committed community of people that are passionate about good leadership and I want to keep growing the conversation and adding more value to those that need my coaching support. These posts will remain free every two weeks, don’t worry, but you can now also sign up as a premium subscriber and get a weekly mojo email every Monday with some specific coaching prompts and advice, as well as other useful resources. Or become a founding member of the community on an annual basis, and gain access to a one-to-one coaching session with me at a preferential rate.
Read all about the new subscriber options here and share if you think someone could benefit!
Ok, let’s get into it. How do we fix these common leadership mistakes?
Confusing technical brilliance with true leadership skills
I'm amazed by the fact that technical excellence is often assumed to be the only qualification for a Director-level role. It goes without saying that as a newly appointed Director, you will have expertise in your field. But what about the rest of it?
Empathetic leadership skills? People development? Stakeholder management? Leading through change? Delivering bad news? Making tough decisions? Understanding and contributing to the bottom line? Speaking the language of the board?
I bang on about this a lot, as I truly think it’s a fundamental error made within organisations, not to coach new leaders on, well, leadership and I wish there was more support out there for those that need it. Too often, new leaders are thrown in at the deep end and the coaching and learning comes later if they are lucky. (If this is you by the way, I’m happy to help as a coach or recommend resources to support your transition.)
Effective leaders must show how they can transcend functional competencies in order to lead across the organisation.
The fix. How can you cross over from functional expert to organisational leader?
By preparing before the role, speaking to stakeholders, teams and key audiences to find out what they really need from a leader and why. By committing yourself to listening more than you speak in your first weeks in the role. By taking time to understand the lingua franca of the business and seeking help and input on any areas you need more training on. By seeking feedback from others on how you come across. By spending time working through the conversations you’re likely to have in leadership. And by diving deep into what makes you tick as a human and therefore, as an empathetic leader. There are some great books on this too, which I’ll include in an upcoming reading list for paid subscribers.
Not understanding your WHY as a leader
This leads me nicely into the second common mistake new leaders make. They don’t understand their WHY. When you don’t know why you want to lead, how you want to come across to others as a leader and how you want to contribute to your organisation, how can you expect to do it well and do with empathy?
I read a great quote this week which reminded me that leadership is a privilege. And you should use that privilege wisely, knowing the impact your words and your actions can have on those around you. You could build a career or destroy a career. Heavy huh?
Knowing this, I find it really sad that too many leaders out there today misuse that privilege. Perhaps as a result of not being treated well by their leader. Paying it backward perhaps?
The fix. How can you find your why as a leader?
Dig deep and reflect on what you really want out of your next step. Where do you see yourself in five or ten years’ time? Be honest and don’t cheat!
Your next step is to get clear on your “WHY and WHAT” - why do you want this, what will you bring to the role, what will the role add to your life and career and what is the best outcome that could result from you becoming that leader?
Write a vision statement for how you, your team, your organisation and your customers/stakeholders will benefit if you become an effective leader.
Reflect on your key strengths as an aspiring leader. Speak your values out loud and think about how they could guide your actions. (If you’re not clear on how your values manifest in your leadership, I have a great worksheet that can help, so just hit reply and I’ll send it to you.) Ask others what they think about your approach as a leader. And think about the type of leader you want to be. Then do the work to uncover this within yourself and model it everyday.
Seeking control instead of trust
Another challenge I see with many of the people I coach is the transition from manager to leader in terms of how they work with their teams. You may be used to being the font of all knowledge and the back stop for any technical/functional questions.
You may (gasp!) be a micro manager. You may be available to your team all the time and think this shows how much you are there for them.
But control is another way of saying you don’t trust your people.
This needs to evolve as you step into leadership and this can be a steep learning curve. As a Director, I had to learn how to step away from my team and leave them in charge of what they were best at, so I could do what I was best at - lead the organisation. I had to get comfortable with the fact that my portfolio of responsibilities now included teams and functions I wasn’t as familiar with and certainly not the expert in.
This is ok! But it takes some adjustment.
The fix. How can you lead with trust and not with control?
The first thing is to admit you have a problem. I know. Us micro managers (now reformed!) hate to admit we may be doing it wrong.
The second action you need to take is asking your team honestly and with no recrimination how it feels to be led by you.
Remember our golden question: “What’s it like to be on the receiving end of me?”
Use it often.
Take their feedback in stride, then mutually agree some steps you could take to demonstrate more trust in your team, in return for their commitment to showing up for you. In healthcare, they call this a “behavioural compact” and it boils down to: what I will do for you and what you in return, will do for me.
For example, you can commit to not checking in on your team every hour, but ask in return that they proactively update you if a) other tasks have landed and they need some guidance on priorities b) they need help that only you can provide and c) they will update you on significant milestones or potential missed deadlines so you can help.
Try it this week and let me know how you get on.
Managing activity/outputs rather than coaching your people towards outcomes achieved
This is really part 3b, but it’s so important it needs its own point! As you transition from manager to leader, you also transition from player to coach.
You are now responsible for shaping positive outcomes for your organisation. These could be anything from increased profit to increased trust in your brand, or to take a healthcare example, confidence in the care your organisation delivers. And these outcomes have to be measurable. You need to show how the work of you and your team is making a difference.
This should be your North Star when working with your team on priorities.
Yet so many new leaders default to the comfort zone of merely tracking activities and outputs (think how many calls your team made vs an outcome of how many of those calls led to a sale) instead of really honing in on what will move things forward on a given day, week, month, quarter or even year.
The fix. How to coach for outcomes in a sustainable way.
This is a long term process and you need to commit to being the type of leader that is in it for the long term and interested in sustainable improvement for you and your team.
But here’s how to start.
Understand deeply what outcomes your organisation is committed to and why, and clarify how you and your team(s) will contribute to these. As well as being clear with everyone (including the board) on what constitutes success in terms of progress towards these outcomes.
Scroll back up this article and re-read leadership mistake number 3 about seeking control instead of trust. Commit to a compact of behaviours that you and your team will live by.
Then slowly start loosening the reins on your day to day management.
Set objectives with your team based on what will move things forward, reflecting on the outcomes you are all driving towards, instead of simply counting up activities for the week. Sort the wheat from the chaff in terms of tasks and admin and commit to being proactive vs reactive as a team.
Agree check-in points that work for you all. Don’t micro-manage them in-between!
Offer advice and insight to any team members experiencing problems, but don’t solve their problem for them. Ask them the right questions so they can go away and solve it for themselves. This is so powerful and gives them sustainable techniques they can use in their own development, as well as a sense of ownership over the outcome.
Then go and do your thing. That thing that you are uniquely good at. The reason you became a leader.
Rinse and repeat. Continually.
There you have it. Parts 5-7 to come in the next issue.
I hope you got some value out of today’s issue. No coaching prompt today, because I think there’s enough here to keep you busy!
Do let me know how you get on. Share with others if you think they’ll benefit too.
And finally…
Instead of the coaching prompt, a personal plea. Go watch the brilliant Succession if you can! I’m obsessed with this story of power and greed in corporate America and there are so many lessons here about how not to do leadership. It’s such a brilliant show and one I’ll quote until the end of time.
“If it is to be said, so it be, so it is.”
If you know you know!
Thank you for reading Lead with Intention. I put so much time and effort into it, as I really believe that leadership can be rewarding and fulfilling. But only if we do it right.
As a qualified leadership coach, I’m taking on new clients for April, so let me know if coaching is something you are interested in and I’ll talk you through what you can expect and why it might be for you. Shoot me an email at louise@narrativepurpose.com or find me on LinkedIn
And don’t forget, you can now upgrade to become a paid subscriber of Lead with Intention, so you can receive a coaching mojo email every Monday as well as other goodies and as a founding member, you can take advantage of your first coaching session with me at a preferential rate.