What's your story?
Discover the secret ingredient in effective leadership. Spoiler alert, it's you...
“As far back as I could remember, I always wanted to be a gangster…”
One of the most iconic opening lines of any film (it’s Goodfellas of course) and the perfect set up for us to dive into Henry Hill’s story. Immediately, we want to know more…
We want to know his story.
Understanding Henry’s back story and his history, and how that shaped his choices in adulthood, is essential if we want to understand why he trod the path that he did.
Story is key to understanding.
And that’s why it’s such a powerful leadership tool.
Even for mobsters.
It’s National Storytelling Week this week. I know this, because my daughter’s school has invited parents in to read with their children. I’m already looking forward to half an hour of her latest dragon fantasy saga… and the resulting germs I will inevitably be swimming in afterwards…
And it has me thinking. How often do we as leaders give ourselves permission to share our stories, and to help others share theirs? And how powerful could it be if we prioritised storytelling as an authentic and emotional tool for organisational identity and culture?
Years ago, I completed the NHS Nye Bevan leadership programme. I’ve talked about it before, as it gave me a powerful framing that any leader should use:
“What is it like to be on the receiving end of me?”
And in order to understand yourself, you need to understand where you came from and how events and choices throughout your life and career have shaped who you are today.
On the first week of this programme, we were split into groups and asked to each complete a timeline of our lives. Spotlighting the key decision points and events from brith to adulthood and using them to articulate the person and the leader we were today.
The story of our lives. As One Direction might have sung.
This was such an emotional exercise. And it led to a much deeper empathy and understanding of each other, and offered insights into how we all ticked as leaders.
For me, it was identifying and clarifying that a) being a classic middle child led to an over-achievement complex that constantly led to burn out and b) that having gone through various health issues, including an incredibly challenging pregnancy, left me with a need to prioritise collective health and wellbeing as a leader. I wanted everyone to have the support I received at work and to be able to thrive at work. That’s still my north star to this day.
By sharing my story with others, I understood myself as a leader in a much more intimate fashion. And hearing others share theirs was a very powerful exercise that led to greater engagement and understanding as a group.
Think about this in your organisation.
How would it feel if you as a leader, were able to share what was important to you and why? What forum would you use? Who would you share it with? What would you choose to share and why?
And how would you encourage others - leaders, managers, frontline employees, customers, service users - to share what was important to them too and why?
As you ponder these questions, you may have some other considerations…
Would you feel psychologically safe sharing your story as a leader?
Would your employees feel as if they could share theirs?
If not, why not? I’m not saying you have to share every intimate detail of your life or your health.
But feeling safe and supported in sharing who you are, what’s important to you and why, and what you prioritise and why, is an essential ingredient of being an authentic and credible leader. So look around at your organisational culture and assess what you could do today to make it more supportive, inclusive and engaging. To make everyone comfortable in sharing who they really are.
Effective storytelling is such a powerful tool.
As a communications expert, I have worked closely with senior leaders to help them understand the strength in sharing stories to gain engagement and action. And to give them the confidence to share a little bit more, to gain a lot more back.
There’s a great TED talk by Pixar, the masters of storytelling. I’ve linked it here and it’s worth your time, to understand the pillars of a great story and the key factor in doing it well, which boils down to…
“Make me care.”
Great stories make people care. Backed by data and proof, they become a powerful part of any leader’s toolkit - for persuasion, engagement, transaction, education, any outcome you care about.
So try this out. Find a forum where it would make sense for you to share a story. It could be in a leadership meeting, or an employee forum or an industry event.
Think about what you want to say and why. What do you want the audience to feel and do as a result? What are you willing to share in order to get a lot more back?
You may feel vulnerable and that’s ok. Check out Brene Brown on why being your authentic self is at the root of powerful story telling.
Let me know how it goes! And i’ll start a thread for you to share any insights or learnings right here with our community.
And finally…
My coaching prompt to you for the next few weeks is this:
“What’s your leadership story?”
How have you been shaped as a leader? What has made the difference? What scars do you have? And who has influenced you? Think about your story as a leader and find a way to share it.
You can find me on LinkedIn, on Twitter and at my website: www.narrativepurpose.com where I offer communications consultancy and leadership coaching to individuals, organisations and creative agencies.
I hope you enjoy this newsletter. I love writing it and put considerable time into it, as I think sharing is how we all learn and grow. If you get some value out of it, please share with your network so we can grow together and build a community of modern leaders. It would mean a lot.