Would you take leadership advice from Don Draper?

And other TV characters that have some surprising career lessons for us

It’s the summer holidays. At last! All hail six weeks of trying to squeeze in the same amount of work whilst juggling childcare and creating “special experiences” they’ll have forgotten by September. I can’t wait…

On a serious note, if you’re struggling over the holidays for any reason, I hope you find space and time to take a breath and a break. And I’ll do my best to entertain you today, whilst we all learn something too. Sounds like school doesn’t it? I apologise. I have it on the brain. Ok class, lessons in leadership from our favourite TV shows coming up…

Why are we so fascinated by toxic leaders on screen?

Whether it’s the alpha masculinity of Don Draper, or the duplicitous scheming of Shiv Roy, it seems we can’t get enough of toxic leadership in our favourite TV shows.

I think it’s partly because our work lives can be so challenging that we’re comforted by seeing something even worse portrayed on screen. Someone who behaves in a way that even your unsupportive boss wouldn’t dream of. Scenarios that make your average bad day at work look positively dreamy by comparison. There must be a pyschological explanation for this. Of course, it could just be because we love the drama…

I think it’s also driven by “shout at the screen-ability”. When we see characters messing up a good deal or ruining their own chance at professional development, we want to stop them. We know what good looks like and this ‘ain’t it, so we yell at the screen:

“Don’t do that! Don’t you know you’ll never get another opportunity like this?”

Hmm, perhaps it’s our pysche after all. Trying our best to give us pep talks whilst we shout at the screen.

But what can we learn from even the most toxic of TV leaders?

So much, dear readers, so much!

Let’s start with everyone’s favourite toxic alpha male, Don Draper. (Mild spoilers here, but if you’ve never watched Mad Men, go and do that now - all of it - then come back, we’ll wait…)

We all know Don has some serious issues, ok? And he often leads with anger, ruthlessness and sometimes even pettiness. He’s brilliant at what he does, sure, but we know that just being good at your job doesn’t make you an effective leader.

In fact, it’s one of the things I talk about most - the gulf between being technically brilliant and a great leader of people. Far too many assume that they are one and the same, when in reality, you need so many skills and attributes that Don just doesn’t have.

So best to view Don as a what NOT to do…and here’s my favourite/worst line of this that shows it in spades:

“That’s what the money is for!”

I do love the way he delivers this line, but the premise is awful. As context, his protege Peggy wants more recognition for her work. The line quoted above is Don’s response (you can watch it here). I had a boss like Don once. They never understood that I was motivated by someone appreciating and valuing what I did. That it went beyond salary, to who I was as a person and my self-worth and purpose. Understand what really motivates people (acknowledging that being paid fairly is of course a hygiene facto and a privilege) and you’ll gain a much deeper insight into the people you lead.

However, Don did give us this pearl of wisdom on the show, which is a lesson painfully learned for me:

"People will show you who they are, but we ignore it because we want them to be who we want them to be."

If you’ve ever had a bad boss or a toxic leader or colleague, this quote will speak to you. Another riff on this is “when people show you who they are, believe them.” As professionals, we so desperately want to believe the best in everyone around us, but sometimes, their behaviours - especially when they think no-one is looking - will speak louder than any glib, positive soundbite. And that’s when the credibility gap opens up for so many leaders and harms the trust we have in them permanently.

“It’s handled.” Or is it?

Hands up who’s watched Scandal. Come on, I know more of you have than you like to admit. The soapy Shonda Rhimes drama about political fixers in Washington DC gave us so many iconic moments from alpha fixer Olivia Pope and her crew, but it also served as a salutary moment in leadership.

And I’m not talking about the foxy US president Olivia is embroiled with…

Olivia is the boss. And there is no point at which we forget that. She covers everything in an icy glaze, a permafrost and for the majority of the show’s very long running time, she never lets anything - not even the deepest trauma - affect her. You’ll still find her wearing flawless white tailoring and sipping a glass of merlot in her impeccable apartment.

But in the words of another defining voice of our generation (Carrie from SATC of course!), “I couldn’t help but wonder…”

Why does Olivia feel she has to keep up this flawless front the entire time? Has she not heard of vulnerability and the work of Brene Brown? Is there not a time when she can be a bit less robot and a bit more human?

Being an effective leader is about being an authentic leader. Knowing who you are and acknowledging all of it, then putting your whole self to work in service of your values and your purpose. It’s not about hiding the less shiny bits away and wearing three coats of armour to work. Work shouldn’t be a battleground - and if it is, that’s a sign you need to do something about it.

From Ada Lovelace to Halt and Catch Fire - and the toxicities of the tech world

This may be a new show to some of you - Halt and Catch Fire went under the radar, especially in the UK - which is a real shame as it’s a brilliant evocation of the tech world of the 80s and 90s. Which, if you’re anything like me, may also give you some sense of PTSD (I worked in Silicon Valley for years and do I have some tales to tell! One day…) as you immerse yourself in the male-dominated world of the personal computer…

I won’t do spoilers here, as it really is a great show and perfect if you want to replace a Mad Men shaped hole in your viewing habits, but it does serve as a fantastic rumination on the gendered ways we lead.

From women being deemed “too emotional” (cut to a man having the same reaction and being told they are a passionate visionary) to the emptiness that comes when you lack purpose at work, Halt and Catch Fire covers a lot of corporate ground. But from Silicon Valley to the streets of Chicago…

Yes chef! Corner. Behind. Heard.

Please tell me you’re watching The Bear? I don’t think we can be friends otherwise…

Again, no spoilers, as it’s a relatively new show. But fair to say we all know it’s about a brilliant chef and his rag tag group working at a sandwich shop in Chicago? If you didn’t, now you know. By the way, the sandwiches look immense. I do miss American sandwiches, but I digress…

There is so much to unpack here in terms of leadership, community and the power of a collective vision. And yes, it’s a drama, so expect a lot of dysfunction (particularly the familial kind) and definitely some toxic behaviour. And yet…

It also gives us glimpses of some good leadership too amongst the chaos.

The collective language (as in the sub heading above) that means everyone can communicate effectively and with concision in a pressured kitchen environment. Everyone knows exactly what these words mean and acts accordingly.

The fact that as a leader, you should be willing to do anything you ask of others - whether that is scrubbing the floors so everyone understands what it takes to run a clean kitchen, to peeling hundreds of mushrooms one by one.

The female leadership on display that is about stepping up even if you don’t feel you meet 100% of the criteria (we’ve all read the research that women apply for jobs when they feel they meet 100% of the desired criteria, men will apply based on a 60% match?) and doing a bang up job.

It’s my favourite show in years, so come for the lessons in leadership, stay for the pulled pork sandwich and camaraderie.

That’s it for TV corner this week. I hope you’ve enjoyed it, maybe even got a new show out of it. And picked up a few leadership insights along the way.

Any shows that I’ve missed? I could do a whole treatise on the Real Housewives of New York but I won’t subject you to that…

Enjoy the start of the summer, back in two weeks and do let me know if you want me to cover any specific topics. And please share with your community and on LinkedIn if you enjoyed this!